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Articles by Zeus2512

Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Penis Enlargement   10/16/2017

A man went to a doctor to have his dick enlarged. The particular procedure involved grafting a baby elephant’s trunk onto the end. Overjoyed, the man went out with his girlfriend to a very fancy res


1 Comments, 2 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Vely Good   10/15/2017

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. <br><br> She yells, "Wh


0 Comments, 3 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Performance Evaluation!   10/14/2017

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he saw a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices he has a no


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
How My Husband Broke His Arms....   10/14/2017

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The British Way   10/12/2017

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British


0 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Atheist and the Bear   10/11/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. <br><br> As he was walking al


0 Comments, 4 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Fairy Tale   10/10/2017

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch......... But it was a long time ago..... …and it was just the ONE day. The End


0 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Guy's Logic   10/10/2017

Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. <br><br> Lady: How much a day? Man: Three 6 packs. <br><br> Lady: How much per 6 pack? Man: About $10.00. <br><br> Lady: And how long


0 Comments, 3 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Fake two dollar bill   10/9/2017

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Harrods   10/8/2017

Harrods <br><br> *A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Ye


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Random Jokes   10/8/2017

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! <br><br> <br><br> T


0 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
LAWS OF INEVITABILITY   10/5/2017

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessib


0 Comments, 3 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Nair   10/5/2017

My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the vet. <br><br> He found that the problem was hair in its ears. <br><br> He cleaned both ears and the dog


0 Comments, 22 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Wedding Night   10/3/2017

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Ital ian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was a very nervous. Her mother reassured her,


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
TAKING A WOMAN TO BED   9/29/2017

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ? <br><br> . At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take


0 Comments, 7 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A Few Thoughts For You   9/29/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashi


0 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Lonely Widow   9/29/2017

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would


1 Comments, 8 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Another Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman Joke   9/29/2017

There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet o


0 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Bruce And Sheila   9/29/2017

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think


0 Comments, 8 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN   9/29/2017

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all sa


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
20 Rules for Successful Writing   9/26/2017

For those of you who write blogs and articles for the site, here a a few simple rules for you. <br><br> 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects 2. Prepositions are not words to end sente


0 Comments, 4 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Strange Diseases   9/25/2017

A young couple left their wedding reception, arriving at the hotel for the first night of their honeymoon. They cracked the champagne and began undressing. When the groom removed his socks, his new


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   9/21/2017

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addres


0 Comments, 34 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Gas Prices in Paris - Tres Bien!   9/21/2017

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. <br><br> After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. Only two bloc


0 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Divorce Letter   9/20/2017

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks


1 Comments, 11 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Little Johnny's Breakfast   9/20/2017

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.


0 Comments, 7 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Jack Schitt   9/19/2017

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the on


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Weight Loss   9/18/2017

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. <br><br> The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   9/14/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law!


0 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Accident At The Toll Booth   9/13/2017

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pul


0 Comments, 4 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Main Vice President   9/10/2017

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. <br><br> Finally she couldn't take it any


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Painting the Church   9/8/2017

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. <br><br> A


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Tales From The Shire   9/7/2017

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the ho


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
EATING IN THE FIFTIES   9/7/2017

* Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming * Herb


1 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
New Windows   9/6/2017

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the wi


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Elderly Golfer   9/6/2017

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. <br><br> As he passes through the swinging doors, h


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Salesman   9/3/2017

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. <br><br> "Good morning, " said the young man.


0 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?   9/1/2017

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the ni


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   8/30/2017

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addres


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Tomatoes   8/27/2017

See if this works for yours (tomatoes that is) . . . <br><br> <br><br> A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day,


0 Comments, 4 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Survey   8/26/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


1 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Funny Thoughts for the Day   8/24/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashi


0 Comments, 3 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Irish v. The French!   8/23/2017

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. <br><br> 'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in Cou


1 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A guy's guide to spotting Ms Wrong by the end of the first date   8/22/2017

When you're in the thick of a first date, judgement may not be on your side. Often you'll find yourself asking or agreeing to see her again, then waking up the next morning to a clear-as-day r


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
EVEN MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   8/18/2017

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A


1 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Irish Priest   8/17/2017

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of th


1 Comments, 24 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Pumpkin   8/17/2017

This was apparently in the Washington Post .... The title of the article was Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, G


0 Comments, 4 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
SKIRT ZIPPER   8/15/2017

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed an


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
DATING RITUALS of women   8/10/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

I


0 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Irish Radio Phone In Quiz   8/9/2017

Some belters from Larry Gogans radio show phone in quiz called the "just a minute quiz"

(Larry) Q. Something a blind man might use? (Contestant) A. A sword



(L.) Q. A song wi


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Why We Like The British   8/8/2017

True Reports from British life ............!!! BRITISH NEWSPAPERS

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, '


3 Comments, 27 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Letter From The Boss   8/8/2017

Memorandum

TO: All employees FROM: The boss DATE:August 8th, 2017 RE: Foul Language



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the comp


0 Comments, 7 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Poor Elton   8/2/2017

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have HIV."

Elton is devastated. "Doc, what


0 Comments, 12 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Pregnancy Question   8/2/2017

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know, " the doctor said, placing a


0 Comments, 7 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Groans   8/1/2017

Doctor Evil cloned himself again. This time created a full size version of himself. He was charged with "Bigger Me."

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Dollywood is currently undergoi


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
How To Poop At Work   8/1/2017

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is


0 Comments, 5 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Test   7/31/2017

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

"Could


2 Comments, 47 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
My Wife Left Me   7/31/2017

My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker


0 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
My US Air Force   7/31/2017

Even Zoomies get it right once in a while.

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latri


0 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Wongs   7/26/2017

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations, ' says the


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Stuck In A Bog   7/26/2017

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry, " assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the str


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
DOLLY PARTON AND QUEEN ELIZABETH   7/25/2017

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Lone Ranger's Last Request   7/25/2017

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..

"In honor of the Harvest Festival


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
BEER TROUBLE SHOOTING GUIDE   7/25/2017

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backwar


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Wrong Suit   7/25/2017

An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One


0 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Miracle Cure   7/20/2017

NEW - Miracle Cure!!!





• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

• Do you suffer from shyness?

• Do you sometimes wish you were more ass


1 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Great Advice   7/20/2017

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have found inner peace.

The article read:

'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off the things you have started'.
<


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A tale of four cats   7/20/2017

Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Empl


0 Comments, 11 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
pest Control   7/3/2017

An Irishwoman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.


0 Comments, 20 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Odd One Out   7/3/2017

Odd One Out

Which is the odd 1 out? 1. Toaster. 2. Washing machine. 3. Dish washer. 4. Woman.

Answer = A toaster.... Its the only 1 that doesnt drip when its fucked


0 Comments, 7 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
2 Irish Nuns   7/3/2017

Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Su


0 Comments, 13 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Mother Of Six   6/29/2017

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the


0 Comments, 23 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A Biker Story   6/29/2017

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" <


0 Comments, 16 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Three Worst Chinese Tortures   6/29/2017

The Three Worst Chinese Tortures



Once upon a time a starving man named Harry Enis was walking in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a huge mansion. It was close to


0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Dear Alcohol   6/9/2017

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the


2 Comments, 14 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The power of Alcohol   6/9/2017

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him


0 Comments, 10 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Moral Test   5/25/2017

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation i


0 Comments, 21 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A Jewish Divorce   5/25/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5C


0 Comments, 24 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   5/25/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Survey   5/22/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


0 Comments, 11 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
DATING RITUALS OF WOMEN   5/22/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOME


0 Comments, 11 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
A Night At The Farmhouse   5/20/2017

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my daughter, " the farmer said,


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Silent Treatment   5/20/2017

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an e


0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Barbie Girl   5/20/2017

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside


0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
3 Eggs And A Little Cash   5/19/2017

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7, 000 in cash he found in the box, so he aske


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Chess   5/19/2017

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
QUOTES OF THE WEEK   5/19/2017

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else. Tom Stoppard (1937 - ), Rosencrantz and Guildenstern


0 Comments, 1 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Some thoughts on scening   5/18/2017

Scening can be great fun for the parrticipants, and the viewers if done in a public room, but, it has to be believable in order to work. While you maybe suspending reality while you're playing, you ha


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Brothel   5/18/2017

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One


0 Comments, 14 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   5/18/2017

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do


0 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Blondes and Oil Changes   5/18/2017

(1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had broug


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
2 Pots   5/18/2017

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered


1 Comments, 15 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
2 Eggs   5/18/2017

Two eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the honeymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little n


0 Comments, 8 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Date Site Descriptions   5/18/2017

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Descriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!!

Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun = Annoying,


0 Comments, 8 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Man's Perspective.   5/18/2017

The site from a mans perspective, is strange and bordering on sad, we get the various categories, which by not saying to much, you don't seem to fit into, mostly the categories include: 1) Look at me


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Bubba's New Toilet Brush   5/18/2017

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle


0 Comments, 22 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
At The Anatomy Class   5/18/2017

A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what h


1 Comments, 11 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Top Ten Blonde Inventions   5/18/2017

10...The water-proof towel 9...Solar powered flashlight 8...Submarine screen door 7...A book on how to read 6...Inflatable dart board 5...A dictionary index 4...Ejector seat in a helicopter. 5...Powde


1 Comments, 7 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Husband And Wife   5/16/2017

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I d


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
The Atheist And The Bear   5/16/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustli


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
One Wprd Or Two   1/13/2017

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the w


2 Comments, 26 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Making breakfast   1/13/2017

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful, " he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at


0 Comments, 27 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Riddles with an X in front of the rated!   1/13/2017

Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. =============


1 Comments, 27 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
When Jane met Tarzan   1/13/2017

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle...





When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked


0 Comments, 24 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Composure Or Aplomb   1/13/2017

The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.
<


0 Comments, 14 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
What Happened Next?   1/13/2017

A man is talking to his best friend about married life.

"You know, " he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."




0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Baby's First Doctor Visit   11/3/2016

Baby's First Doctor Visit

I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The d


0 Comments, 73 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Musical Willies   2/9/2016

As there is no section on games, i have put this here. It is just an idea for people to try out. Let me know how you get on, and any ideas to improve it. Musical Willies Object of the game: To see how


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Muslim Logic   8/13/2015

A Muslim couple in Peckham Rye, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradi


0 Comments, 116 Views, 7 Votes ,0.49 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
What is the difference between men and women?   7/15/2015

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women some


1 Comments, 42 Views, 15 Votes ,2.82 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
In the desert   7/1/2015

2 guys are walking along a desert when they come ascross a girl buried up to her neck. One of them asks, "What's in it for us if we pull you out?" She answers, "Sand."


0 Comments, 94 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Blondes on Honeymoon   10/11/2014

A Mother had three virgin blonde daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period.

Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them a


4 Comments, 201 Views, 12 Votes ,5.27 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


3 Comments, 28 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


2 Comments, 30 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
115 Articles
Score 16.1
Tickle Me Elmo   7/11/2014

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me E


1 Comments, 133 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score